All of us can comment all we want about how innocuous this trip is, and how much of an overreaction this is, but it doesnt change the facts from where youre sitting. I am actually going there next week. Just stayed at a swanky suite in the Venetian with a view of the strip for $140/night. Very few of these trips ends up involving much fun at all. Get that man into counseling, pronto. I would imagine thats what happens in Vegas for a great many solo work travelers. Scheduled calls keep him more relaxed. And voila- you're on the coast! In Vegas, these things are part of the fabric of the city. You (and a therapist) would know better. Your wife is doing a normal thing and has given no signs she isnt anything but committed to you. While I was away, he made me upset the whole time with his anxiety of what-ifs and what-nots. Breadwinner isnt necessarily sole provider. My ex used to pick up stupid little fun jobs part-time while he was going to college, while I was working full time and also going to college. Married people travel for work all the time, even to cities with a greater-than-their-fair-share amount of vices around, and they typically behave responsibly and stay faithful. Hee! You can have a couple days where youre focused on other things! We get to decide what level of irrationality we are willing to handle in a relationship and if its based in fear and being used to limit who you want to be, that just doesnt work. Usluge graevinskih radova niskogradnje. The thing is, if you go there repeatedly the sheen really does wear off. Its just unacceptable. No. You feel this way, youre affected in this way, you would like to see this happen, and so on. Good luck and enjoy the trip. Why doesnt he trust you? I went for the first time over the summer. Expect it to hurt, though, and to feel guilty over it. Just recently I have found out I will be sent out again. I have a friend now who Ill maybe mention that he is going to a business thing and he will badger me where is he? If something was going to happen to you, it could be anywhere. And wondered aloud how he would have been if wed been together in the days I was traveling to Kosovo, Bosnia and Iraq as a newspaper reporter. At that point, the OP has some really solid information far more useful and on point than anything that the internet commentariate can provide her. You bet a quarter, watch and yell at the fake horses running around in a circle, bet another quarter, repeat. :P. The drunk human traffickers are trafficking the dealers! And the concerns mentioned about What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, sin city, dramatic kidnapping scenarios, etc. Grownups dont treat other grownups like this unless they are fundamentally abusive. My husband has been in counseling and on medication for his mental health. My husband has been for business conferences. Could also be a mix of the two, or something nobody has thought of yet. No constant phone calls/other distractions.) But refusing to participate in the arguments and the anxiety spirals by hanging up and walking out saved my relationship with both my parents in the long-term. I guess it's doable, but I wouldn't do it. My husband doesn't want to go because of the 14 hour car ride. I hope you can get some work done despite your husbands interference while you are gone. If someone tells my son, I am a thief, or. Me too!.which is probably why Im not married ;). Or his response could give her more information about what is really on her husbands mind. Las Vegas hotels have cameras everywhere. Thats the weirdest part of it to me! I hope you go to Vegas and find love with someone who doesnt treat you like property. It took getting out (and lots of tears, letting some of the love-roots pull out from my heart with time and distance, and lots of therapy) to realize that he really was some of those things and others he wasnt, but it was irrelevant because he was still hurting me. Who thinks its normal to ask around if he should let his wife go on a business trip, etc. She doesnt like it when I had lied to her but its alright to lie to me and Im not welcome to come along and stay in a another hotel. OP, I saw one of your responses saying your husband is otherwise kind. No matter how cool your parents are, money always comes with obligations. I mean sure its possible hes found someone that shares his view, but I think its mostly him just hearing what he wants to hear. This is actually a place where marriage counseling can be extremely useful. He can express an opinion at most. Nope. Talk about what services you provide. (And yes, counseling 100%, do ASAP since whatever the underlying cause is, not likely to just disappear. Ive traveled to all kinds of interesting destinations where Ive only seen the inside of the airport and conference rooms. It also couldnt be. My boyfriend used to freak out every time I had to travel for work. Well, this might seem like an obvious question, but have you told him that you need him to stop talking to you about this? I think that marriage counseling is the right way to go. Of course, it also relates to what the right wing media say, and its super-hard to tackle. I'd hate for you to miss out because of the trip! Yall need some marriage counseling. (As a sidenote: my mom has been able to do with with my dad a few times when her travel schedule gets crazy. Having a neutral third party is really useful. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). My company sent managers to Las Vegas last February for a corporate business trip for three days. Same here. I agree with Alison here. We partially worked around it by him pack me an automotive emergency kit since rental cars tend to lack flares, reflectors, etc. Sure, but then the question would be my boss wants me to go on a business trip but I have a new baby/my spouses parent is seriously ill/my house just flooded and I need to deal with insurance/whatever, how should I ask my boss if I can get out of it. It totally IS. Its a him issue. You can easily avoid all the sinful things to do in Vegas, if you want to. Charleston. Sometimes they go on a similar trip for birthdays etc. This. Just because some of the people in that culture are ok with it doesnt mean its magically not controlling behavior because its culture/religion. She is bottle fed and was at that time, too, so if your LO is EBF, I'd say add more time. We went to the Grand Canyon, went ziplining in the mountains and had a great without ever stepping in a casino. At the end of the day, the big problem with his indifference is the burden it puts on you to be the functioning adult in the relationship. You write that he is friendly but just doesn't like to socialize outside of the house. Shes too fair to be naked out in that desert sun.. Your friend is a wise woman. I have friend who grossly exaggerates the number of people who support his stance, nevermind the the biasing in surveying. Yes. The only thing I dont like about this suggestion is the implication that OPs husband can supervise her to make sure shes not cheating. Later I saw an art exhibit. So yeah somethings just not right. Im all for giving your loved ones the name of the hotel youre staying at and checking in on a nightly basis (Ive done it myself) but if hes being controlling and/or anxious, there may be no amount of information that will be enough to assuage him. It is obvious that anyone who says that has never been here, because there arent even that many people who are obviously Muslims living here. So thank you for the comments. Whats real is my wife is going for a walk in a safe area, shes smart and wouldnt put herself in danger, and the chances of anything happening to her are incredibly low. Marriage counselling is categorically not recommended if there is abuse. My husband of 23 years has never objected to any business trips Ive taken (not even the week-long trip to the Bahamas when our daughter was 8 months old), so Im chiming in to say that whats going on with your husband is super abnormal in my experience. I mean, were talking about adults going on a business trip so wholesome shouldnt even come into it. Just that it might be (MIGHT) an explanation. On the flip side however, I do know some couples who havent spent a night apart in 20+ years. Thats worrying about what other people will do TO me. Business trips are the only time I like going to Vegas. Not everything is OMG READ GIFT OF FEAR!!! My husband was recently sent to Vegas for a week on two days notice and my response was pretty much the same. On which I shared my personal experience and directed to resources where these be explored further. They did indeed get married, and unsurprisingly, it ended in spectacularly bad fashion. He can see how boring Vegas really is. Also made me think about the impact TV can have on our beliefs about the world. When I was there, I went to museums, saw a few shows, visited a shopping centerall during the day (except the shows) and safe. As a side note to all of this, I watched the original CSI religiously for about 8 years, and had never been to Vegas (no easy opportunity and not really my thing). He also accused her of sleeping with her boss constantly. You cant leave the house, there are kidnappers everywhere! I wonder if he needs help with general anxiety rather than marriage counselling. OP can call out her husband by offering to buy a $1MM (or whatever number) life insurance policy for the duration of the vegas trip. (The sales guy told her, its just like any other dance show, but at half the price and without the headdress! I recognized the name and tried to talk her out of it, but she believed the sales guy over me.) Actually if you go off the Strip theres quite a few things to see and do around Vegas (also non-gambler here), desert hikes, assorted museums (notably neon art & the mob), and my personal favorite the Pinball Hall of Fame which has 100+ playable pinball machines (old and new). CES, the Consumer Electronics Show is held there yearly, and is a massive tech conference, millions of square feet of conference space. Its not a geographic nexus of evil or on a Hellmouth or anything, cmon! The main drag did not feel dangerous to me at all. And it also sounds like this is unusual in their area, so its not a situation that he sees tons of people going through unruffled. But a positive first encounter with a therapist can change that, because, you know, therapists are trained to defuse and help unpack their misconceptions. There doesnt seem to be a whole lot of recognition of either here. I read books. Can we leave this here rather than derailing on it? His income was mostly for his own frivolous purchases, my job paid the rent and most of the utilities (he paid his own phone bill and bitched about it nonstop). Not because I felt unsafe (though I kind of did, but I could remind myself that was because of CSI and not because of logic) but mostly because it was also not clean enough for my standards and the savings werent worth it the amount of time I spent trying to get places. There are tons of families and people who live in Vegas or visit Vegas and do pretty normal things. That said, Id say go on the trip, because I dont think you should pander to his lack of trust in you. And he wouldnt like it either, wed be heading down to the pool and see people going to conferences and feel sorry for them that they had to spend the day inside while we sat in the sun with a mojito. Weve been a few times on holiday and love it the shopping, the food we dont even bother with the gambling. Agree with the high level of security even on the streets. Hmm Shes probably going to cheat on me in Vegas because thats what people do in VegasWait I cant say that, of course shes going to deny ithmm, what else can I say to convince her to stay Kidnapping! One of our Bright Side readers sent us an e-mail pouring her heart out about a tricky situation she's going through. I dont think people are misreading; I think that the phrasing is confusing but that context indicates its meaning. Also it can help having an objective outsider there. I was admittedly super jealous when Booth got to go to Orlando because Disney World is a lifelong obsession of mine, but I didnt beg him not to go, or tell him that all the other wives I spoke to wouldnt allow it . Ive also gone on holiday with my mum and my grandmother for a week or two at a time. Stay at Luxor for dirt cheap, or Mandalay Bay for the pool. Yeah, I read it as they object and they wouldnt let them go.. Your feigned hysteria of all caps and multiple exclamation points comes across like a rude caricature of people you disagree with. I have no problem with him going to week-long management training or long weekends away for bachelor parties. I think part of this relates back to a topic thats come up here before: people who dont travel for work think its fun but the people who do travel for work spend the whole time in meetings, seminars, conferences, and never get to explore whatever city theyre in. Are we sure that survey actually happened? Sometimes together (we work for the same agency), but mostly separate. When your income is needed, you can take fewer risks by opting out of stuff at work. It may not be, in this case. Maybe he is just a lazy dude who wants to keep his cash cow working and under his thumb?? Thats what tips me toward the prospect that your husband is on the controlling end of the spectrum and not the real bad anxiety end of the spectrum. Speak to him about how he feels if you were to invite people over. Do please note, even if he does have terrible anxiety or other mental health issues, hes also behaving in a really sexist manner, and being disabled doesnt give you carte-blanche permission to be a jerk. Its not about what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, its about Vegas has made themselves a very strong event destination, and that includes for regular businesses.. Ive lived in Vegas for over a decade and have attended many, many conferences here as well as in other cities. They live there with partners and children, even! Trotting out the results of a bogus survey is classic manipulation, in many sectors. But regardless, he needs to respect the demands of her job and treat her like an adult. Ill be honest, my first thought was not anxiety, but control and maybe future abuse. But its a good idea to add in. We have friend who live in a neighborhood of Paris which Fox news publicized as a no go zone because of all those Muslims and Sharia Law and such. Think of it this way if you give in on this to avoid conflict, what will be next? Note however, I dont think this excuses the employees OR means that its wrong to have a corporate event in Vegas. ), and Im excited to stay at Mandalay Bay because they have an aquarium. While I was away, he made me upset the whole time with his anxiety of what-ifs and what-nots. Studies show that men who are outearned by their wives and cannot cover the households bills with their own income generally act out more about their successful wives. Havent read the comments to see if this is talked about yet, but I feel like religion has a play here I can see uber conservative religions having more problems with this situation than anything else. either. From the OPs subsequent posts, it sounds like they did agree with the husband, and that shes in an area where thats a more common approach. Women will agree with a spouse to avoid conflict. But, because of Vegass layout & security, those places are no where near the big hotels/conference centers. Some things are objectively controlling behaviours though. Might I suggest Hotwire? me go. He was there for a conference, and she was there for a bachelorette party. I have been to Vegas twice (both in the same calendar year), once with my wife when she was attending a conference (hobby, not work related) and the second time with my (at the time) elementary school aged daughter. When I talk to my friends nowadays (still in Ohio, btw! We dont know enough about how the spouse acts in other scenarios to draw larger conclusions. Sure, its too much if youre super conservative, but then the root of the debate is not Las Vegas itself. But you dont get to be irrational all over someone else without consequence. I would think about whether this fits in a pattern of other bad behavior. Hes gotten better over time, but he still guilt-trips me before I leave and makes sad noises about how he misses me so much and we never spend enough time together. OP take care of you first. And when she called home she was mean to me and I noticed she fixed her hair differently and she looked very happy. Telling your partner that you really need to focus on work for three days should not be a big deal (barring really big exacerbating circumstancesI need to focus on work, so Im skipping your mothers funeral, have fun! would be much more fraught, of course). Period. The place is set up for meetings and conferences, has so many airline and flight options, plenty of cabs/Lyfts/Ubers, and staff at the facilities has run into every possible issue that can crop up. Access to prostitutes, drugs, extramarital affairs, and excessive drinking and shenanigans is available pretty much in every town and city. This sounds like a difficult situation, so do whats best for you. A week? Thats what I was thinking. So, considering that this issue really could be either one, I suppose its no wonder were seeing a lot of both here and it feels like they arecompeting? I actually agree that the comment section here can jump to that explanation a little too quickly and without anything in the letter to support it, but they arent in hysterics about it. Answer (1 of 11): I do not care why he does it! Long term I also agree with everyone elses recommendations for anxiety screening and counseling. As a long-time resident of NYC, people who dont live here assume I spend my days constantly in fear of muggings and/or terror attacks, pepper spray at the ready. I have horrible anxiety.